new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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