Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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