38 yer olds are good kisserssss
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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