Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This house was built for laser tag.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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