I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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