she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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