Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
