I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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