sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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