Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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