He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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