it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize