we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
