i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
