if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
