I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
