I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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