The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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