"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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