It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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