maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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