Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
