There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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