The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
