also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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