Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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