Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
