Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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