but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
