...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
