Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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