oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
