I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
