Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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