I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
