If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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