On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
