Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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