Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You did what with his pubic hair?
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