Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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