Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
