She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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