whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
