oh god the rape fog is back!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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