OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize