That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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