ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
