the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i will never coherently bang her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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