i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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