May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
