i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
