its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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