It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
