it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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